“I was never bent on being like the guys. I never ever thought about being anything but the girl I was made to be.”

I am one of six daughters, and I was reared in a Christian home. I was taught to be the PERSON God made me to be. I was also taught that I need not compete with males and that my femininity was valuable as created by the Lord. And that the masculinity of males was valuable for the same reason.

But my mother and father did not keep me locked out of the ‘proverbial barnyard’. My parents did not stifle the woman God made me to be by demonstrating that dresses made the girl (because dresses and skirts do not ultimately make a Godly woman) nor did my father and mother demonstrate an unwillingness to teach me “men’s work”, i.e. yardwork - fishing - golfing - ball playing, etc. . . It is through spending time with my Godly father in the activities that I learned many things about being a Godly woman and a Christian, in general.

I think it is important as you seem to be doing in your entry here to celebrate femininity, but we need be careful in believing that ultimately, a woman doing “men’s work” or wearing pants or playing sports well, makes a woman un-Godly. That is simply not true.

If one feels closer to the Lord by wearing skirts, covering her head, or avoiding ballplaying, etc., then so be it. I do not judge her and would encourage her to follow with her choices. But ultimately, it does not make a woman ungodly to do some yardwork alongside her spouse or her brothers. Perhaps the Christian female athlete on a team is placed there to witness to lost teammates. Perhaps the female who learned to do “men’s work” is covering for her husband on the farm while he is required to go out of town to settle financial matters so the family can eat tomorrow. Who is to say she is ungodly?

“So if your a girl be a girl! Do girlish things…throw like a girl…enjoy and love the girl God made you to be. He did it for a reason.”

While I do not agree with your tone that all girls are made to be “girly-girls”, I do agree that being a girl is nothing to be ashamed of and that it IS God’s wonderful creation that girls AND boys do exist.

I think God did equip some girls though with capabilities, talents, and interests that are more “male like”. This isn’t to say that they ought not be girls and instead seek to be males and ignore their femininity. That’s ridiculous. You, as a self-professed girly-girl, will serve a purpose as God made you. And some other young lady, who may be a talented athlete or a great mathematician or understand machinery, will also serve His purposes.

By the way, my father makes some great homecooking. And he’s also excellent at watching and caring for children. Does this make him an ungodly man because he does stereotypical “woman’s work”? Nevermind that he does heavy work with his tractor, has a background in engineering and theology, and spends each day seeking the Lord’s will.

Please reconsider your tone in this entry, or feel free to delete my comments. But I feel it would be sad to discount girls who have been given God-given gifts that sound stereotypically male: mathematical inclinations, affinity for the outdoors or sports, the ability to do things that some people believe are “men’s work”. (That to me signifies allowing the world to define what only God ought to through His Word. Why even the virtuous woman understand finances and bought and planted her own field, etc. . . Many people might consider that stereotypical men’s work.)

Comment by Emily on July 11th, 2006 @ 9:16 pm

I love it when you write and post your thoughts here. I know your writing is inspiring many. Good work. Remember lonely voices are often voices of truth.

Comment by DAD on July 12th, 2006 @ 11:45 am

Very well said, Holly. Your mom did a lovely job with you girls and I am sure she is praising the Lord for each of you.

You are all so very precious to me too, and I am thankful for your mother’s desire to raise you as lovely ladies.

I thank the Lord.

We are praying for you in your new home and ministry… You are a Precious Jewel.

Grandma Pierpont
Singing His Praise

“When He Cometh” You might want to read this song.

Comment by Grandma on July 12th, 2006 @ 5:41 pm

I find your post very interesting. I think that you may misjudge some women when you believe they encourage their daughters to act like boys. They may actually be encouraging their daughters to develop their own identity using the personality and physical traits given to them by God. As you know, God does not make all women with the same “feminine” mold. God made every woman different.
Femininity is something that has been determined by society, and not necessarily by God. Because of this, femininity dramatically differs between cultures. I’m sure you know that there are cultures where “working in the yard” is a job for both men and women. Historically, coorporation between men and women is necessary in enviromentally harsh conditions, such as the days in American pioneering. To survive, women participated in activities that you may consider “jobs for the men”, and this did not make them any less Godly.
I encourage you to put your ideals of femininity into perspective. You may not be very strong physically and as a result you “throw like a girl” However, God made some women very strong naturally who may throw a bit harder with not much practice. Young women should not feel guilty about their God-given strength and are blessed with the opportunity to use what God wants them to have.
I agree with you that God made men and women very different in awesome and beautiful ways. Yes, most men are naturally stronger and I don’t think men or women should try to be something they are not. I also believe that God gave men AND women the choice to expand their societal roles into their individual lives. I am happy that history reflects how God gave women choices and opportunities to advance themselves in society. Because of those women who followed the paths created for them by God, you are able to do many things that were once considered masculine, and not for women. For example, you can have your own bank account, you can open up a coffee shop, you can wear dress pants, drive a car, learn math and science to educate your own children, own property with your husband, and make decisions about your health such has what enviroment you want your children to be born in.
I hope that my thoughts have given you something to think about. I encourage you to look at those women and young girls that you believe aren’t embracing their girlish tendencies with more understanding, because to them being a girl means being themselves. I am happy that who your mother encouraged you to be is who you are. I just hope that if your own daughters aren’t as comfortable being exactly what you think femininity should be, that you empower them to be womanly in their own, beautiful ways.
You have a kind heart and I hope that through experiences with diversity you can expand your mind, challenge your assumptions, and spread God’s love and acceptence. Good luck with your move Holly and God Bless.

Comment by Avid reader on July 14th, 2006 @ 4:54 pm

This was well written. I am a girl and proud of it!

Comment by Whitney on July 15th, 2006 @ 5:17 pm

Thank you for writing something that is not often spoken of in even our Christian world today! There’s so much more God has for His children than our present culture is offering… it’s not a life of rules, but of joy and freedom. We as girls have such an opportunity to advance God’s kingdom, and I am grateful to know there are many out there (like you!), who are unashamedly doing just that. Thanks for your sweet spirit and for the honor you show both to the Lord and your parents in “being a girl” and loving it!

Comment by Jennifer on July 15th, 2006 @ 7:12 pm

Holly, my dear I agree with what you said as well as what these commenters have said. You yourself have easily fit into the “girly-girl” mold. I do as well. Everything girly is what I realate to, 100%. And though we are not the “leader gender”, as I believe that is the male role, that does not mean we have to be a weak gender. I know many godly women who are impacting the world for Christ by attending college and going into fields where they are the only Christian women. These places would not have the light of Christ if it was not for these women and they had to perform some “male” roles in order to get there, i.e., college, sports, business ownership, etc. However, this is where the problem lies: there are many women who enter these fields that are not supposed to because they have given in to the pressure of this world. Take me for instance, I know I am not called to go to university or have a “career” per se, but if I had given in to much of the pressure of the world I would have done those things and therefore missed my calling. That is why we have so many problems with “empowered” women. They are not raising families, etc. as they were called to do. On the other hand, there are many Christian women who were called to get a higher education, etc. and yet did not because of wrong Christian steriotypes. Does this make sense? Anyway, from one “girly-girl” to another, we need to realize that not all of us women are created with the same inclinations and callings.

Comment by Kira on July 15th, 2006 @ 9:34 pm

Very interesting. Still digesting it all. Never really thought that I was labeled either a “tom-boy” or a “girly girl”, although, I think that I could easily fit into either catagory.

I’m just glad that God created me uniquely, gave me the family that He did, and is continuing a work in me.

Must say I am very handy with a screwdriver, can drive a stick shift, bake bread, BBQ, plant flowers, sew curtains, and have a great time doing whatever it is that glorifies God. Oh, have been know to make some awesome shots with a pool cue

Comment by Debbie Searle on July 16th, 2006 @ 2:35 am

Hey Holly…. Interesting post. I’m definitely a girly-girl… if it were up to me, I’d never get dirty or do yardwork or lift anything heavy. But I’ve found that I have to do some of those things sometimes if I want to be a good wife. I mean, I guess I don’t have to, but Steve is usually really surprised and grateful when he discovers that I know how to use a screwdriver after all!
I guess what I’m saying is that I’m glad my parents taught me those skills. I thought I only needed to know how to drive a lawn tractor because I didn’t have any brothers, but it’s actually still a very useful thing to know when I want my husband to be able to rest when he gets home from a long day at work.

Comment by Lawren on July 16th, 2006 @ 12:20 pm

Hi Holly!!
I agrea with alot of the things you said, but there are alot of the things you said that I’m wondering what you meant. For one thing, my mom always has encouraged us to love and do as much things with my brothers as we could. I have found that I trust my brothers the most, next to God and my parents. They have taught me examples of courage and strength. I have always loved to do things with them, like playing sports. I’m not a girl that’s afraid to carry heavy loads, or get my hands dirty.
Like normal brothers, they have teased me alot, but I have learned to laugh with them, when they play jokes on me (which they don’t do to me anymore!) I learned to ignore them.
Also I would like to say something about “tom boys” I know several girls that love to climb trees, and run wild in the woods (including me, except the tree part, I can’t climb for beans!) are those girls thought of as Tom Boy? I don’t believe that just because you love to run free in the woods, and climbing trees does not make a girl a Tom Boy. Just wondering what you thought!!
That is all I have to say so far,
Love your sister in Christ,
Hannah Kissling

Comment by Hannah on July 18th, 2006 @ 6:32 pm

Women are strong, they do not belong in the home, they belong in the world. I am proud to be a woman, I am proud to be the kind of woman who believes that she is equal to men-in the eyes of God and in the eyes of the world. What does it matter to God if I wear a skirt or pants? Won’t He judge me based on who I am, rather than the clothes I wear?

Comment by Jenny on August 6th, 2007 @ 12:46 am