I spend a lot of time waiting for my family to get in the car so we can go places. One of the things that keeps me from getting hostile about that is that I get to scare them by beeping the horn when they walk by the front of the van. It’s just one of those little ways I save money on therapy.
We love to go places together, though. One summer evening we decided to go to town and grab a pizza for a little picnic. We picked up our pizza and some ice and pop and headed for the park. On the way we saw some model airplanes flying over a field. We drove over and parked to watch. It was a great spot for a family picnic.
We got out and set up our lawn chairs to watch the planes and enjoy our pizza. I got a big orange pop in one hand and a plate of about three thick slices of extra-cheese pizza in the other and settled into my lawn chair.
I was hungry. Every cell in my body was concentrating on devouring that pizza. My chair was sitting right in front of the grill of the van. You guessed it.
My first born got the bright idea that he would startle me by beeping the horn. He slipped into the van from the back door, stole quietly forward, and then just as I put my big cup of orange pop up to my lips laid on the horns. They were about ten inches from my head.
At the time I weighed in at least 270 pounds so I’m sure the little lawn chair was over the legal load limit. When the horn sounded I lurched and that baby instantly collapsed in a pile of twisted aluminum. I ended up on he ground. My family and a half dozen strangers gathered around to belly laugh at me lying there with a half an extra-cheese pizza on my chest and baptized in orange pop. I don’t remember anyone helping me up. (They couldn’t have done so without a block and tackle handy anyway).
After the humiliation of that as you can imagine I had to leave town. I could never be taken seriously as a man of the cloth in that town again.
There is a moral to this story and here it comes. You reap what you sow. And when you do reap and sow the results will usually not be funny like my little story here.