(Fifteen Biblical Responses to A Contentious Person).
1–Avoid Evil people when you can.
“I appeal to you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and create obstacles contrary to the doctrine that you have been taught; avoid them. For such persons do not serve our Lord Christ, but their own appetites, and by smooth talk and flattery they deceive the hearts of the naive.” (Romans 16:17–18, ESV)
2–As much as it is possible live at peace. Create spaces where you can remove yourself and do productive things.
“If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.” (Romans 12:18, ESV)
“Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love.” (1 Corinthians 16:13–14, ESV)
“It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife.” (Proverbs 21:9, ESV)
“It is better to live in a desert land than with a quarrelsome and fretful woman.” (Proverbs 21:19, ESV)
“It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife.” (Proverbs 25:24, ESV)
3–Love your wife like Jesus loves you. Don’t be harsh with her.
“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,” (Ephesians 5:25, ESV)
“Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.” (Colossians 3:19, ESV)
4–Keep your promises to act in a loving way continually even if you are cursed or or hated or abused. (Luke 6:27–29, ESV)
5–Make sure their curses are without cause: “Like a sparrow in its flitting, like a swallow in its flying, a curse that is causeless does not alight.” (Proverbs 26:2, ESV)
6–Show loving-kindness and tenderness whenever you can. Gal. 5 “Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.” (Colossians 3:19)
(Galatians 5:16–25)
7–Be like Jesus. Do not be selfish or think only of yourself. Give and serve others and lay down your life. (Philippians 2:1–16)
8–Do not get involved in argumentation and do not react sinfully to an attack.
“The beginning of strife is like letting out water, so quit before the quarrel breaks out.” (Proverbs 17:14)
9–Don’t engage in conversation that is just a lure to attack.““Do not give dogs what is holy, and do not throw your pearls before pigs, lest they trample them underfoot and turn to attack you.” (Matthew 7:6)
10–Don’t Try to correct her. She will only be more contentious. Let God deal with her.
“Whoever corrects a scoffer gets himself abuse, and he who reproves a wicked man incurs injury. Do not reprove a scoffer, or he will hate you; reprove a wise man, and he will love you.” (Proverbs 9:7–8)
“A continual dripping on a rainy day and a quarrelsome wife are alike; to restrain her is to restrain the wind or to grasp oil in one’s right hand.” (Prov. 27:15–16)
11–Don’t blow up and vent your anger:
“A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back.” (Proverbs 29:11)
12–Do not return anger for anger. Trust the Lord to judge. “When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly.” (1 Peter 2:23, ESV) (1 Corinthians 4:1–5)
13–Strengthen yourself and encourage yourself in the Lord. Deepen your relationship with God when you are being abused. (1 Samuel 30:6)
14–Always try to see yourself in the mirror before you look at the faults of the other.
“You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.” (Matthew 7:5, ESV)
In the presence of my enemy. Don’t tell her things. She will use what you say against you.
15–Leave all the children and other people completely out of it. It is not necessary or right to draw them into it. It is not their business. Keep them out of it. Don’t talk to other people about it. The only exception would be a qualified counselor.
Treat the Contentious Person As You Would An Enemy. Bless. Do Good. Pray (Matthew 5:44 NKJV)
