Faith and Family

Saturday Holly married Jesse Long from Seaside, Oregon. Sunday we were busy with three services on the Lord’s Day. Chuk, Dan, and Wes left for Grand Rapids Sunday night and left the Granville Cottage occupied by only Lois and I, Hope and Hazard. Yesterday we spent the day recovering from the frenetic wedding week. Last night I began to fall asleep reading in the chair and went to bed early. Reading in bed a few minutes before sleep a message came in on my phone. I thought to wait until morning, but finally got up to check it. It was a message from Jesse, our new son-in-law. We all enjoyed an up-date on the couple from Cancun, Mexico by Skype! It was wonderful. They are very joyful and enjoying a paradise honeymoon. 

Sunday while I was preaching Hope opened a hymnbook in front of her and found some writing on a scrap of paper. They were old sermon notes. The notes were on a message about prayer I had given. They were taken by Holly. Wherever we turn there are things that remind us of the treasure she was to have in our home for three wonderful decades of our life. Looking back it is almost as if we grew up together, we seemed so young when she came along. I was twenty-five. Lois was twenty-four. 

When Holly was in beauty school at first she didn’t have her own car. I drove her every day for about a year. Every week-day morning we would join the other commuters and students and we would have a little talk. She would be spending the day among young women who didn’t share her convictions and devotion to Christ. It was a challenge in some ways but more than anything a confirmation of the ways of God. It was so clear that when we order our lives after God ways, when we fear God and delight greatly in his commandments, our lives are ordered and anchored. We spoke often of the importance of not only marrying in the faith but, saving yourself for someone who was consecrated to Christ. When Holly graduated they arranged a party to send her off. The family was invited that day. Her friends gave her gifts, a tribute and a bouquet of flowers. She thanked each of them for their friendship and help and when she walked away from the school her friends were in tears. 

Her little silver car is no longer in the street in front of Granville Cottage. She’s taken her happy songs to the Pacific Coast. Her curling irons and make-up, her blow-dryers and beauty appliances, her clothes and treasures and books are all gone. She doesn’t call joyfully “I’m home” anymore and come in with her big wad of keys and chips and salsa. The house is getting quieter and bigger.

From the high-arched window in my study at church I glance out into the north parking lot and remember her breezing in every morning just in time to sing or teach her girls. I indulge myself in joyful tears. I get a big lump in my throat at church when I try to sing and remember her radiant, sincere singing on the worship team. 

She has a habit of leaving people in joyful tears when God moves her on to the next adventure in her life. So it was when Her husband carefully tucked her into his bright yellow Camero and raced out of the parking lot of the church. She had left all of us tearful with joy and bursting with love. The light and influence of her life and her love for us and for her Savior linger even now with us. Everything that reminds us of her stirs our hearts with gratitude toward Him. 

I will miss her all day every day for the rest of my life, but I’m praying that God will give she and Jesse a little girl just like Holly. Then I know that no matter what else happens to them their lives will be bathed in sunshine. 

Ken Pierpont
Granville Cottage
Riverview, Michigan
September 16, 2014

This morning at 6:00 AM the groom flew into town! We are planning a delightful weekend celebrating Christian marriage and family reunion. We are praying for the safe travel of all.

Already I feel my heart racing with joy and anticipation and I am supposed to be studying for Sunday.

Thirty-six years ago today Jeff Tokar and I went golfing. It was a Friday night. I was in my second year of college. Across the street from the college was a little carry-out pizza place. We stopped there to pick up a couple slices. Dollar-a-slice. Good stuff. In God’s kind providence Lois and I were hungry at the very same time that night.

She was sitting there waiting for her order. Long brown hair. Deep brown eyes. It was hard not to stare. I stayed cool. She wore a light blue top. I smiled at her. Saturday in the school cafeteria I noticed her again. She came in with the new crop of freshmen and I knew she would get a lot of attention. I would have to move quickly. Her friends had gathered around her and they were singing happy birthday to her. I wondered if I could ever arrange to meet her.

That night Dave Messer and I attended a church picnic sponsored by United Baptist Church. As we approached the picnic, I saw her again. I asked for directions but could not draw her into a longer conversation. I kept my eye on her. Toward dusk we were all playing volleyball. As evening came on and it grew dark they built a fire. When the volleyball games ended I noticed that she was still out in the grass looking for something. I offered to help. She had lost her headband.

I noticed her beautiful long hair and dark features. Years before, as a little boy, I had decided that I would marry a woman with long dark hair. I ran to my car to get a flashlight and found her headband. We sat together at the fire while one of the students gave a devotional talk. I got her some watermelon and tried with every ounce of charm and personal charisma I possessed to monopolize her time and attention.

Knowing that I would be leaving with a singing group soon on a tour of the mountain west, I knew I would have to move quickly or others would move in while I was off campus and I would lose my opportunity. I asked if she would have dinner with me. She said no.

“My mother would not want me to go out with someone I don’t know.”

I countered; “Well, that’s why you date–to get to know someone.”

I recall this conversation almost word-for-word even though it happened thirty-six years ago.

“Well, Lois, you have to eat. Let’s eat together on campus and then when you feel like you know be well enough we can go out. Whata’ ya’ say?”

“I don’t know.”

“Well I won’t make you decide. I will just be there for supper on Monday night at 5:30 and if you want we can eat together.”

“Well…” she said…

Monday I was waiting for her. She had to eat. There was only one door. I stood waiting. About 5:35 she came around the corner and into view. She was not alone. She was with two or three girls from her dorm. She was beautiful. She was wearing a dark tan dress with three-quarter-length sleeves and a colorful panel in front. Her long hair was down and her dark eyes were cast down and did not meet mine until, for just a moment, she looked up as she climbed the steps where I stood.

“Can we eat together,” I asked as she approached. “OK,” she answered and I fell into step with her.

A year to the day from the night I first saw her in the pizza joint she walked the little aisle in her church in the West Willow subdivision in Ypsilanti and took my name.

At the time I didn’t have the experience or sense to rationally look for the qualities of character that Lois possessed that have been such a blessing to all of us. I didn’t know about her dogged loyalty. I didn’t know about her hard work ethic. I didn’t know the tenacity of her convictions and the depth of her faith. I didn’t know the hurts and disappointments that would make her determined to have a Christian home and marry a Christian man. I didn’t know the deep trauma she was experiencing in leaving home for the first time. I had no idea the depth of feeling her mother would have in watching her first child leave the nest and go so far away. They are very close. I was young and didn’t think deeply about these things.

Looking back over the years I know that God was arranging just what I needed in answer to my parents prayers out of the kind mercy of his giving heart. I may have had some intuitive sense of the depth of her character, but I’m sure that God protected me and guided us together.

Thirty-five years ago today we drove away together toward our little up-stairs farm-house apartment in Ohio. The Carpenters song, “We’ve Only Just Begun” played on the radio. Lois changed from her bridal gown into a pretty mint-green dress in the car as we drove. The intimacy of it thrilled me. We were married and soon we would lie together in our bed as the sweet scented air billowed the curtains of our room. We would go to church together and take long naps and Sunday afternoons. We would work at building a life together and beginning a ministry.

At first it was almost as if we were playing. But all to soon it became very real and we both knew that we would need God to help us. Maybe we needed him more than most. And he was there for us.

Today, four sons, four daughters, four-grandbuddies, a grand-princess, and 35 years of pastoral ministry together I know that God put us together and God has kept us together. And together we will be until one of us releases the other into the presence of Jesus.

Thinking about the kindness and mercy of God over our family makes me determined by the grace of God to love Him and serve Him together with Lois as long and we have life and breath.

I once heard Jay Kessler pray; “Lord, thank you for marriage. That was one of your best ideas ever.”

I agree.

Ken Pierpont
Granville Cottage
Riverview, Michigan
September 8, 2014